i barfeds in our rink
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
