Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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