It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
