Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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