I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
