We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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