You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
