I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
