Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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