i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
