she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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