I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
