I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
