Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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