North Korea, Best Korea!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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