South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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