When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
