I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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