Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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