I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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