Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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