I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
