You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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