I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize