i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
