Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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