she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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