Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
