we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
