ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize