Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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