when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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