We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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