ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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