we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is Oprah even human
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
