he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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