I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
