nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize