I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
