Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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