@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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