Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
