every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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