I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize