I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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