I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
