Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
