You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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