I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize