I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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