Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
