When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
