I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
