I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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