We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And the cops told us we were all naked.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
