awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
