i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize