Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize