dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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