Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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