he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize