In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
