Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
