Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
